herlucidlife

Hello naje here…to sabotage oneself is to be in battle with the creation of God. 

Therefore, be imitators of God, as dearly loved children (Ephesians 5:1) 

Sabotage (topic of the day) is to deliberately destroy, damage, or obstruct (something).

Tired of the trash I tell myself. Tired of complaining and not acting, tired of dreaming and not planning to execute. Tired of the merry-go-round I put myself on, keeping myself spiritually trapped. God is the key, I have a relationship with the key, so why do I continue to hold onto the bad habits that kill me? It’s almost like an addiction to sin. I know it’s wrong, know God hates sin, I’m sabotaging myself. Literally destroying myself. Sin is sabotage. 

Is there a lack of humility in self-sabotage ? If I’m willing to sabotage myself then how much fear do I have for the Lord ? If I have enough gall to disrespect God’s creation then what does that say about how I think of God ? But if I hate myself then I can’t possibly love God correctly, because loving God also includes loving myself. Praying without obedience is like talking to God without intention. 

Sabotage neglects the relationship I have with God. Reverence, respect for God slowly leaves the relationship. My sin selfishly brings focus off of God and onto myself. Loving God, respecting God takes focus and the action is deliberate, but sabotage and love for God can’t live in the same house. Selfish love is not love, yet it’s a mask to deceptively get what I want. Accepting that I can’t possibly give God the love He deserves if my hands are full. Thankfully, God sees the heart and He’s willing to change it, if I am. 

Therefore, be imitators of God. God wants me to know Him, fully. He wants me to walk intimately with Him. He wants to change how I operate, how I go about loving Him. God wants to mold me into the being He created. God has done everything He can to make sure that I have what I need to live a godly life through Him. He has given the Bible, His Holy Spirit that resides in me, and His life that is eternal. Yet, to be an imitation of God, I must willingly lay down my old self and pick up the new self God is creating in me. To imitate God is to nurture the Knowing of God. 

As dearly loved children. God wants me to imitate Him out of love. Right now, I try to imitate Him because I don’t like what I see in myself. This world would have me to believe that allowing myself to do whatever I want is love, allowing myself to live in excess is love. But God has shown that allowing myself to do anything is not love but it’s sabotage. Though I know living a life devoted to God is needed and as I get older it’s wanted, unfortunately my mind has always categorized sin as “fun” and being obedient to Jesus as “work”. I truly believe my mindset is what holds me back from fully loving God as much as He loves me. 

My toxic self does not love me, yet I starve for love so much that I confuse even my own intention. My sabotage is rooted in low self-esteem, fear, and embarrassment. I don’t give myself boundaries but God does, don’t speak kindness to myself but God does, don’t say I love you to myself but God does. God is the image of love. I need to love myself, because He loves me, and has adopted me as His child. Knowing God, focusing on knowing God will turn my heart that I may love Him and myself deeper. 

My Father wants to parent us, He’s shown love we’ll never deserve. He wants obedience through love, He clearly deserves our lives. As God shares love, we should also share love. I pray God leads you into deeper obedience to Him. He loves you, let’s grow deeper in Jesus together. 

*These questions are for your personal journaling. I pray God leads you to His heart.

Discussion Questions:

1. Describe the emotions/ feelings that feed self-sabotage. 

2. How has knowing God’s character changed my behavior ?

3. How has knowing God taught me about loving myself ?