herlucidlife

Feelings will have her thinking life is one way, when in fact it’s a complete lie. Once again her emotions led her down a rabbit hole that was imaginary. No one left her, no one was cold to her, rather she allowed her emotions to run rampant. She is unstable, unwell truly. No one is hurting her, more so she’s hurting herself by taking everything so personal,  it’s almost arrogant. Perhaps this happens when one takes themselves too seriously, making herself too important in the life of someone else. Frankly, no one has the energy to hurt her feelings because their energy is aimed at creating a life for themselves. 

She’s struggling to get her mind focused on her own life. She said she’s not waiting, so why does it feel like she’s waiting ? Her mind is not an ally right now, it has literally allowed her to get emotionally attached to daydreams, and when those dreams aren’t reality it feels like a huge let down, like heartbreak all over again. But God never told her to get attached to the daydream but to Him. Feelings, the energy they create is wreaking havoc on her mental health. The grey matter is so twisted with infatuation that it looks at God’s direction as an obstacle rather than a helping. 

God is blocking this person to protect her, He knows she wants this person not of His order, and He also knows the deeper reason of why she wants this person. The one thing she’s lost control over lately is her mental. The brain is exhausted, tired of thinking, tired of going in hypothetical circles, she’s having to force her mind to stay in reality until it naturally learns to do so itself. Pressure is building, she’s just looking for emotional rest, but for some reason she keeps missing the exit off the highway to hell.

I feel myself wanting to fall back into old habits of attachment, feeling so hurt that I have to connect with someone, even if that means leaving myself unhealed. God is hypersensitive to my cycle, and He is blocking people to keep me out of that cycle. My judgement sees that there is no one to physically attach too, so it’s trying to do so through imagination. I am hurting me. Rather than escaping the mind, I have to make it a comfortable place to live by unlearning unhealthy patterns that keep me trapped. Satan poisons the mind to control the behavior, as fleshly behavior is more natural than spiritual behavior, one is instinctual while the other is learned.