herlucidlife

I’m so impressionable when it comes to suggestions. Thrawns in the road suggests that things should occur, events, setting dates if you will. Sometimes I feel like a deviant, a tiff in the night with the stories my intellect dreams up. It didn’t take long for my randiness to kick in, I almost feel shy to say what my mind was thinking, not something of a divine nature. 

I’ve always believed that you were never too young to get it right, that even babies can unlearn bad behavior before it gets too far, so what’s my excuse? But it’s all in my head, I get so down on myself for simply having a thought that was unhealthy. To have one’s heart set on, to covet, to greed after…things happened in the chest that made the muscle quiver in achiness. Broken behavior creates destruction. Swarming, not once has my mind dreamt of desires toward growing in my own life. Salacious concepts wiggled through the folds she called a brain, they never seemed to really take a break, she was crooked. 

Crooked for the flesh, for the hypnotic state these rolls take her too, torturous because it’s not okay, not acceptable. Moving in an upstanding way, though thoughts were twisted, I will not walk in the way of suggestion. The body had depth to its dirt, taking the mental deeper than unholy thoughts. Surely this isn’t the person I really am ? No action has been made but the power of my mind makes my reality seem wonky looking through blood stained glasses from the soul, everything is taken to heart, nothing is left out. 

Thinking with my inner, all of my senses are operating at a hypersensitive state. It feels unstable here, processing while processing I haven’t gotten over the old hump to understand the logic needed for the present hill. I smile because though the narrative is heavy with ungodly behavior, gratitude seems far from the story, joy isn’t always felt through momentary happiness, I’m finding mine in the clay. 

Sinuous, thankfulness hides in my heart like a well kept secret; her light never goes out. Optimistic in nature, embracing change was eating up the lucidity she had left. Goodness is present in even the most distorted lines, even the lines that walk me down to hellish actions.