herlucidlife

People gone get tired of reading my stuff but look I need to unburden what is on the chest. I make life difficult for myself. Doing, speaking in manners and occasions that are ill fitting. Including people that really don’t have a place in the song. Sometimes loving someone is not including them in your emotional affairs, I’m learning, seeing, experiencing that just maybe people aren’t meant to soak up the emotions we have towards them. 

I know it’s helpful to clear the air but my goodness, I have horrible timing and clearly so do you. I hope you tell her how you tried to act like you were tearing up over how much you love me. I laughed you off saying, “you so crazy.” I’m lowkey pissed off at you and most definitely myself. Feeling like a  moment in time it was unlawful but deep down you knew I would walk with you down that road. Just a little bit, you even considered my former love yet you extended the hand anyway. 

I’m on you but I didn’t want to share with my departed lover our exchange, it was embarrassing and very disappointing my actions. Though courage had nothing to do with him finding out, believe when I say our exchange will be brought to light for her, I apologize it wasn’t me. Acrimony was on the verge of being created, those are not artifacts I’d like to specialize in. Consenting to a distraction, love is the area in my life that creates the most grief. 

Petrified of the road I was headed on I took a detour, landing in a deadend I was actually on track. Never being too late, I can get back on though I may be carrying a little extra luggage. Nervous, I have to move anyway. I like to think that everyone else besides me contains a little mess to their lives, these last couple of years has shed light on my night soil. I don’t like clutter yet I created some for my own enjoyment these past years. 

I apologize to those that got included but you don’t want my whack apology anyway because, “I’m sorry.”  For years you have been the sweetest thought on my mind, choking out the senses that left me sane. I don’t know how you managed to do it. I’m enjoying dancing over the point in time when I’m no longer bothered by the whisper of your name. When I’m no longer bothered by the slight way you like to make sure I’m “ok.” Sometimes I think, do you really care or do you simply want my heart to never forget how you make my world shift in time when you’re near.