herlucidlife

Got happy thinking about all my body’s been through and how You’ve allowed it to keep going and not just going but feeling better even. You have me thinking that maybe a fully changed life is possible, that maybe I don’t always have to struggle with the same old things. It’s life so something is bound to come but I’d rather lay down some things. Growth brings new challenges and burdens, I’m looking for those but I want to conquer the little actions and habits needed for that growth to occur. 

Sydney Cummings. My YouTube Personal Trainer said something that really changed the way I’m training my mind to think. Loosely quoted, she encouraged her audience to seek gratitude in even the mundane things and especially those things that bring forth a challenge. Turning from saying, “I don’t feel like it, ” or “I have to do this thing,” or complaining while doing; when gratitude would have me seek peace through these thoughts. Yes to saying, “I get to do this thing” or “I’m grateful to be able to do this thing.” 

I’ve been taking the word “need” and changing it to “want.” It’s teaching me mindfulness around how I attach my words to certain activities, things, and people. A lot of things I make seem like a chore are really blessings and positive things. I shouldn’t need to do that healthy thing, I should want to do it because it’s good. My mind has been programmed to think that unhealthy behavior is fun, a treat and that healthy behavior is not fun, just routine. Difficult isn’t always bad and my mind needs to unlearn that lesson. 

Wanting. A want was always something that wasn’t needed, an excess or unnecessary thing most time feeding an unhealthy habit. I really don’t understand the concept of a “cheat day.” A day when harmful behavior is okay. That I somehow need a vacation from the good and healthy lifestyle I’ve created for myself but if I need an escape then it’s not that good. Is it maintenance ? Or is the flesh too strong to not feed every now and then ? Guilty pleasure is always present, guess I can’t get around it since I’m human. 

Perhaps never feeding into risky behavior is too perfect for this side of living. True. In that case I do not want to get better, at wanting a cheat day…so often.