herlucidlife

For some reason I’m nervous to tell you that I really did want more. Not the title, just more, more emotion, more energy. I just can’t get over how for years you sold a story and I was intrigued enough to buy tickets. So invested in you, was there no one else for you to mess over? Was there no other girl for you to entertain? It didn’t have to be me, so why was it me? Why choose someone so close to your circle that your secret could get out? Neither of us are able to run from the consequences since you made sure a friend would always pine over you. 

Yes I’m obsessed. Yes I’m in disbelief, how could you? Makes me think you must’ve been the villain in all the stories you lied about when you said they hurt you. From my experience you most likely lied, sold a pipe dream your broke self couldn’t deliver on a good day. How could my sweet friend be the bad guy? Did you see my goodness and think, “I want to kill her the way they did me?” You achieved the goal, the heart is dead bleeding. I’m not sure it’s worth putting back together, I may be irresponsible again and let another trample. 

You may feel good, proud of yourself even because only a sadist could watch someone be tormented the way you did me. You won’t return what was taken, never meaning to be kept you threw out valuable things. You won’t apologize because that takes too much accountability and regret would show you care…and you don’t.  I’m no special or different from all the other women that have been lied to by men. I’ll never believe that all men are like this, nah not all men deserve that title, but my goodness you do. 

You’re not a good man and when you think you may have morphed into one, look again…it was an illusion. You’ve lied to yourself, you even believe your own lethal trash. The only way you’ll ever be who you want to be is to see an error in how you already live. You see every error, every broken bone, but you’ll sit wallowing until a healthy woman comes along for you to latch onto. You’ll drain her of anything good then be mad when she stops producing,  a leech in human form you gave so much you will only ever take from now on. 

Sorry for you, leeches are discarded because the annoyance of their sucking will cause harm so detrimental to the source that even the parasite will die. One day you’ll be too tired to even play, too tired to suck dry anyone in your path. Yes, one day you’ll need rest with that person, though not me, that person will not be found and you’ll feel how everyone else felt…played.