herlucidlife

I’ve been hard on you. I’ve been lacking empathy for the road you took that allowed for you to treat me a way. Deficient in innocence, my hand can hold some responsibility. Liking to look at you with villain goggles, in reality you came out the womb covered in sin too. Wanting to treat you like friends I can’t because you’ve never treated me as such and if I try I’ll just be hurting myself thus giving you the satisfaction of having more of my emotional being than I’d like to confess. 

Obsession is beginning to leave my brain, no longer wanting to fester riding the wave, I’ll sit you in the corner of my mind until life brings you around. Until then I’d like to think about things that bring life into my being so deep I know it was birth from God’s Holy Spirit. Mm let’s dwell there. Empathizing with the roads you’ve traveled, we all slightly turned into people we really didn’t want to be. I truly believe we wouldn’t change a thing for that’s the correct answer but truthfully I’d change somethings just to see how it would change me. 

Maybe I’d like that version of her better or equally. The beauty in this body is that she’s getting better with time, deepening with roots to her inner…hibernation has begun. You’re operating in an emotional state as well, it’s dawning on me that you were moving in ways that screamed help. Any game played only meant that you had been hurt so bad you had no clue how else to operate but broken. Never fully a villain, you’re a victim too. 

Compassion should be overflowing when looking for love, so why is the field so cut throat? Why use the most selfish tactics to gain that which you want, selfless love? Making no sense, when did kindness become optional? I too lack in the realm of tenderness, looking for you to be something you weren’t and then being upset, I was wrong. We’ve all been bruised in some way by life, hearts are full of fear while pushing through still. Paths cross for a reason, a season, some terms rotate while others have set dates. Importance in each, riding the wave, I pray I walk with more compassion towards you. 

Hard on you for acting human, you’ve not ever been as hard on me. Unfortunately, things have taught not everyone can be shown kindness outwardly but it must be shown from a distance with harsh boundaries. Revelations are painful but needed for transcendence into something divine.