herlucidlife

The new year is around the corner, I apologize your presence couldn’t come with me to the next phase of life. Perhaps we’ll meet later in life though breath is not being held. Please don’t hate me for not being able to be the bestest friend you needed. Watershed for your being, unionized exes I assumed friendship would be consistent. But even the failure of the union tainted the devotion. Trying to hold on, it seemed that you really just wanted to feel needed. Lack of inhalation is allowing the emotions laying dormant to curdle up. 

I miss the companionship, I miss the hobby that held us down for years. I chose me over all of you, all assuming they had a piece of the pie, no you only held a fork eating for your own necessity. Four options yet none considered my own being as a choice, choosing myself was never a selection they considered. Pick of the liter, I’m the only consistent factor in the middle, picking myself to extinguish any unhealthy strings. I don’t want you with me any longer, I don’t want you in my mind. Not only do I want to be completely rid of you, I want you to be completely rid of me. No trace of love please forget about me so we may live harmoniously without each other. 

Bedridden, sunken to the floor, unable to retreat from this hell I may finally be ready to not run away. I may finally be ready to sit down and create my own vision. Took years of scrambling to see that I ‘d possessed inside what I needed all along, God allowed the external factors in my life to bring out internal traumas. Your memories were too big to put in a box, after intaking your being, looking at the operating system of your mind. We are no longer compatible, you can see that I’ve moved past the realm of what you possess. No longer buying broken promises it didn’t take long for me to see that you’d not changed but simply regressed into something more bruised. 

Life is a spectrum constantly moving; it either goes backward or forward. Holding souls as your possessions, you have children and wives depending on you to be correct. Unfortunately, crucial life events were rushed and yes those things are preparing you for greater though painful, I don’t believe that greater will allow you to cross my path. You’d have to intentionally leave your trajectory to find mine, as I’m praying I never see you all again. No longer needed, forgiveness is a must while reconciliation is optional, not going hand in hand. Actions would have to change for that to take place, my presence would need to be available to accept your changes. I’m choosing to not see anything as your morph is needed for someone else. 

Yes, I pray for greatness over your life. I trust in divine powers so my eyes don’t need to see evidence to understand His movement is occurring in your life. Please be diligent to heal yourself, to move gracefully through life. People that had no choice are depending on you to be more than what you’ve given them. Don’t make any empty promises to them, be kind only giving what you possess. Don’t shelter your authentic voice in hopes of gaining something you lack, rather truth attracts more depth that you find what had been missing.