herlucidlife

Needing more than daily reading I need a palate cleanser for my soul. Dehydration is an understatement, child I’m stale crunchy till the end. Lacking everlasting water, wanting to walk through the desert with Jesus just to tread intimately with Him alone. I truly believe two paths of coming to God should be formed, individually and communionally God is personal and shared. Needing alone time with Him, it’s also needed to share Him with other devotees and those lacking. 

Letting go I often think about those I’ve let go of. I’m sure you’re still holding space in my mind but it’ll be years before my heart heals from your memory. Dreams bring you to life at night, not on purpose you’re fueling the flame to be better. Not wanting to go back, not wanting to be the same person, something has shifted that makes going forward more pleasurable than doing the same old routine. I’ve been changed through knowing you, through experiencing goodness and trauma through the Spirit the soul feels different. 

I pray over your spirit, something is troubling you and it’s been on you since life began. Something’s not felt right in your being, looking for worldly solutions to handle spiritual realms. Battling dark energy on your own it’s not been working and you’re wondering will it always be like this. Because the cup has always been half full. Looking at the world with shades on you see every problem, every pain and it’s crippled the optimism in your heart. Handicapped so it’s died to the point where if one bad thing happens in the day it’s ruined everything. 

Nervous to trust God because the scope of His being is too far past rational. No God is logical as His majesty is in the trees, in the body, in the Earth. There was a disconnect between knowing and believing God, limbo has fostered the uncertainty that has been attached to the Creator. My life may have confused you, it seems you had perceptions of what walking with God looked like. Bearing witness it was murkier than you’d like, thinking maybe I’ll stay on this side since her life is just as messed up. What you witnessed was God never giving up on me, never giving up on His children, blessings were seen through your eyes though the devil painted them a different color. From the unseen eye seems you may have bought his trickery.

Ugly in the midst of progression, thinking I should better because I knew better you failed to see the devil riding my back with flesh. You failed to see the dedication in going back even after I’d failed. Please reconsider your walk with Him, possessing the intense love you seek. I’ve never experienced anything like it. You’re looking for someone that won’t walk away while overlooking the being that has been Permanent. Bone dry come closer to get water, you’re thirsty don’t lie because God can see the hurt that has hung so hard on your heart you’ve thought maybe I’ll just lay here and be no more. 

He sees the struggle, seeds have been planted in your heart by those that birthed you. Disconnect increases with neglect of the relationship, you walk around as though He’s not sustained you.