herlucidlife

Speaking to you and me, I’m not absent from the rebellion and I’m praying my mutiny didn’t move you further from His feet. Understand we live in the spiritual realm, no need to wait for heaven or hell they’re already here. Illusions used by dark forces, eyes like to focus on the material, on the seen, rather the invisible is more important. You’ll have to use His vision to see anything good. Not righteous on my own, no I’m ugly from birth to death, only His goodness gave me cleanliness that I can’t destroy. 

From the heart, no perfection in this body just a soul yearning to be closer to Heavenly Father. I’ve always known that life will eat you alive without Him by your side but something in you just didn’t want to accept the truth. Not my purpose to water the seed or grow the plant, I’ve only been commanded to give you the love God gave me through action and word. You didn’t believe the love was genuine, didn’t believe the love was deserving, I too receive Love I don’t deserve daily. 

Praying someone is sent to help you water and grow that plant, ultimately it’s between you and Him. Hilarious how I write to you through my poems though I’ve been summoned to leave you behind. Indirectly speaking to you, I’m working out the mental process that likes to hold on. Not about you really it’s about the emotions that fester still. Love in my heart is hoping you build that bond with Jesus, hoping you understand and internalize that He does not act like man. You’ve been so focused on the sinful misleading behavior of professed Christians, that it’s tainted the view of God. 

You’d have to come close to Him in order to change that view, you didn’t believe me when I said He wants you while raggedy. There’s nothing to fix before Him yet it will be fixed with Him only. Struggling to find vision, do you know where you want to go?  How will you get there without Him? You’ll not want to ride the devils back to the top, as your spirit will be sold as a pon. The end days are coming, suit up with God’s salvation led by repentance from a confessed mouth, it’s the only way our spirits will make it out alive and well. 

I really miss you and I keep thinking if I went too hard when deciding to cut you off. In the heat of emotions, not thinking clearly you’d done nothing to receive that treatment. But not wanting to go back because something in me can’t shake the feeling of you not being genuine. I asked God what He thought since I never consulted Him about your departure. Trying to hear His voice, I keep getting confused between listening and hearing the wailing of your presence in between my ears. Not walking backwards, don’t want to feel like I’m crawling back or maybe that’s just pride talking. Either way I’ll be still until He brings the mental clarity I need to make the correct decision.