herlucidlife

Boy you’re crazy as heck. He told me you were watching, stop torturing yourself looking at something that will not cross your path. Not wanting support, literally go make a healthy life for yourself that does not include the activity of you looking over at my lane. This lane ain’t got nothing to do with you, maybe that’s the issue. Never ingesting you after the fact, that’s how I’ve been able to heal from memories, that’s how I was able to present myself as something different because I was and am. Still not digesting your activity it’s catapulting me to new heights, consuming the energy I gave you; Oh My Goodness it hurts to think I missed out on my own intensity. 

What I gave you I now give to God, who I showed you I now show to myself. She is beautiful, gentle, meek in spirit even when abrasive it’s done with love. She is the strength in my heart when I feel unwanted by men. She is the lover who holds my heart hostage. I’ll let her because I trust the new being I’m becoming. This prized treasure by God, He put a price on my head no man can touch, He bought me full charge seeing fit to clothe me in goodness. Oh Yes! I love who He’s molding. She’s learning to give to herself through Jesus. 

I’d advise you to do the same but you’ll have to put me down to do so. Having to pick up Jesus dropping everything including your marriage. Notice I said drop not leave, for some things need to be relinquished souly for them to be formed back up in the correct way. Meaning clinging to your honey in Christ Jesus thus He will birth something new in between you two. Something untainted by my memory. You may think I’m talking out the side of my neck but I saw way more than you’d like to internalize. 

For you hadn’t changed much, so I knew exactly who I was seeing. My affect had shifted so you misinterpreted my aura thinking you still had hearts. My words may have given hope when really those phrases were meant to give me an exit. Honesty let air out of the balloon, deflated a lot of affection went out the window of my heart. Oh yes the body feels lighter than before the mental is moving with relaxation and excitement for the road ahead.

Perhaps just wanting to give support it’s not safe for your soul health guy. It’s not safe for the goals you’ve set with the person that calls you theirs. Really it’s not about you and the fact you’ve materialized into my blog means emotions are there, yet feelings don’t need your presence to be healed. Simply walking into spaces by God’s light will be more than enough to cure this love hangover. Repentance on the tongue, Father knows I’m not well most times, He knows the same for you too. 

You’ll not find Him looking into my lane, rather He’s in your heart looking for you to see Him clearly. Looking for you to walk to Him, carrying all the attention you hold in your heart for me. Let Him take that affection, dissolve it into beauty and only then will there be room for Him, for you, for her. Maybe out of line with my words I’ve not ever sugarcoated anything I won’t begin now. Sir…sir, please for the sake of being human, let yourself experience every feeling in a safe space. Safety lies in your heart if you let it be.