herlucidlife

Oftentimes blaming things on the devil, honestly I believe it’s the ugly inside of me that acts in such deviant ways. Thinking unholy thoughts really Satan doesn’t need to destroy me, I could do that myself easily. Funny how I can’t save myself but I can demolish every inch of my being. Only knowing how to go down, Jesus has the instructions on how to go up. Looking at His book, opened to the page where every good work is given provisions by God to be completed in His perfect timing. Only solace I have is knowing He knows my heart isn’t sunken to where He can’t touch me. 

Hand and Eye always on my soul, never out of range sitting with Jesus doesn’t mean I’ll always feel pretty. Rather, most days I feel ugly because it’s a constant reminder of the work still needing to be done in my body. I’ve not acquired how to see myself through God’s eyes, so I see something hideous while He’s seeing beauty. I see detriment while He’s seeing healed. I feel gruesome while He sends Love. I’ll not say how He feels because really my power and authority will never reach that high. 

A Father in perfect form, having all my fear intimately You know me. Mind reeling, gut feeling twisted I always think I’m speaking out of turn, Father dismantle the destruction that deems holding my tongue will get me closer to Your face. Knowing You’re not afraid of how I feel, please don’t be angry at what I said. Needing to release to obtain wholeness to feel weightless really can I just cry in your lap a little longer? Life gets heavy sometimes and I need an emotional break to just be. Love, calm in the storm, serene before the uproar, comfort after the assault, presently present, always holding my hand. He’s not dragging me along rather He’s walking slow because He knows I’m a slow learner. 

Compassion in all forms, I’m sensing how You let Him speak through me to minister to the writer herself. A little less weighted the tongue has a little more movement to mutter, “thank You Jesus for love so tender it soothes my tears.” Not meant for everyone this was a private moment between He and I. Needed by everyone, I am a witness to the intensity He brings to my door in the softest ways letting me know I’m always loved even in my ugly moments of fear and hurt. Thank you for seeing me clearly.