herlucidlife

Looking across the phrases I could see my own life in every word. Scary to think my actions could lead to wrath. Judgment on all sides, I’m still learning who I am in You. Nervous to say I’m one of those believers hoping they go to heaven yet I look at my past and feel a shift thinking, “I’m not so sure anymore.” A sign of not understanding salvation really it’s my fault, You’ve granted understanding through Your Word. Bible skimming talking more than listening, I want to do Your work and share the gospel that You may save people. Genuinely, I’m nervous I may push them away. 

It’s really hard to want romantic love when damnation is knocking ever so constantly at the soul. Then I sit back, never in perfect shape I’m two steps from where I was before, yet gratitude sets in for the Most High. Not left in the gutter, sitting in the trenches with me, He’s saving grace in purest perfected form. Though most days I read the Bible and often feel ugly for my actions I can’t help but notice the beauty He’s created thus far. Nothing I added, not even a hint of personality was birthed from my authority. Have you ever sat back and thought, “WOW He loves me because I’m ugly?” 

Sharing Love, You tell and show me in order to save my soul daily. Often my mind likes to forget the severity of each action both good and bad. Sin is eternal death while purity through salvation and turning of the heart is eternal life. Cut and dry I have to circle back around to the gospel because it’s the basis of breathe in our lungs. It’s the meaning of loving Jesus for while we were sinners deep in our transgressions He died for us, rising on the third day sealing and completing salvation. Please say you believe the Truth. Every soul needs to internalize the true and expel the lie. 

Not sure if the membrane is activating, I need saving. Everyday I need grace and mercy so deep only Jesus can give it to me. Mankind in the same boat, judgment is too heavy for these hands. Even sharing these words with you out of fear is not in God’s character, still needing perfecting in the Father. Oh yes everything being said comes from compassion of the spirit, I just want everyone to be okay. Possibly out of turn I’m just a quiet girl that gets nervous in front of others and squirms still in the presence of speaking with folks. Sharing Who I’m learning, His teachings never end for I’ll need every lesson until I die and be with Him. 

He rebukes lies everyday in my mind. He casts out falsehoods trying to tangle the narrative that’s set in stone. Did you know when He speaks everything shifts? So why wouldn’t my insides shift when He speaks over me in heavenly languages? Oh gratitude overflowing Father I thank you for moving the current of my spiritual ocean in your direction. Every now and then I’ll see how Satan would like me to think I’m further from You than I really am. No fight really it’s simple trickery of the mental cortex, a playground in dangerous formation vigilant isn’t even the word for the amount of watchfulness needing to take place in this world. 

Mm, perhaps we should be left to our own devices…thankfully God doesn’t work like that.