herlucidlife

Comfort. Strands twisted into little locs, they bring warmth to my soul. Shaving meant starting over. Renewing myself going on another personal journey my cut off signified a redoing. Sometimes done in spite of those making comments, my hair showed the immaturity in my thought process toward my body and others. Words not belonging to me should not hold enough power enabling me to alter my being. Coils folding into each other creating a circular cluster of oooooh’s. She taught me what it meant to find beauty outside of my scalp. Looking at my face in the mirror. I didn’t like how chubby my face looked and how hard my edges appeared seemed too kinky. Growth not happening overtime, physically and mentally unhealthy. I was not highly self esteemed in this human temple. 

Short is cute, middle is rough, long is pretty. Hair standards in my head of what I thought looked beautiful on me, forced to look at myself. I couldn’t believe how uncomfortable I was with my face and body because instead of looking at me I was mesmerized by the processed permed hair. I truly believe the greatest growth will come when I have no choice but to dig deep into myself. Some healing comes from isolation, ebbing and flowing with my coils, I’m relearning how to love me. Caring for myself is a daily task, through a solid routine rooted in the foundation of the Lord. No one is going to invest in my growth more than God and myself. Helpers come around the corner passing through, only I am my responsibility. 

Showing me I have the capacity to be consistent. Journeying with these coils has only been fruitful because of willful shifts in action and constant flow of maintenance never deviating from the norm. She taught me I have the ability to learn and evolve with my ever changing self. To know that what comes from me naturally is beautiful and celebrated. Nurturing myself through hair has brought me closer to the face I once deemed as unenjoyable. It took years to see beauty in this body, in these eyes always comparing what I had or didn’t have. 

I wanted to be wanted by myself but caring for me was something I needed more. Wanting to be healthy is more than simply doing a task but it’s doing a task with the intention of love and well-being purposely touching to heal. Every time I touch my hair it’s with love, care, and gentleness she’s given me more relaxation than any lover I’ve known. Things treated well yield well results, taking lessons from my curls. 

If I could be as diligent in other areas of my life I’d be flying higher than Mount Everest.