herlucidlife

You’re always here for me when I need a listening ear. Never speaking out of turn you give me your shoulder to cry on whenever needed. Gifted from God, He flows words through my fingers at the correct time relieving mental strain. I don’t know where I’d be without the gift of letters. Forming into words you speak the deepest secrets of my heart and soul. Nothing left unsaid you let me cry in your arms soothing my chapped heart, my oldest friend. Lurking in the shadows like a forgotten orphan, it was just a matter of time before you came back around better than before, needed like no other, these words are a key piece to my divine healing. 

Needing to say something, anything, many ruffled feathers have been flattened out from releasing tension through these scribes. Unscripted, yearning to speak truth to anyone who will listen, the alphabet came back to me when I needed her the most. Slumped in my broken marriage, overwhelmed by the amount of grief in my heart hidden down deep unspoken, I walked around like a zombie. Manic in my ways, coming back down to earth perhaps a little more depressed at least it’s so real I can feel the pressure in my bones. 

Hips spreading from the growth of getting older, no longer a little girl scribbling up dark fantasies of daytime serial killers for my high school english class. Seems my adult life is the new nightmare tangled with glory from God. I’d not have it any other way. Holding me close when thoughts get so full and heavy they have to be lanced in order for puss to seep out so scabs can form. If I could stop picking, the healing would actually adhere to the skin of my spiritual self. She’s raw, don’t look at her, skinned alive by the masses in my head. I ripped her to shreds so God could pull me close.

Witnessing intimate conversations between Father and I, tears streaming down my face with most statements. Feeling my emotions scramble for comfort, jumping out of my skin with crawling up the wall sensations God knows exactly how to bring something at the exact appointed time. Not too soon not too late right on the money my God I thank You for these words of hurt and encouragement for they’ve shown and reminded me of Your grace. Thank You for giving me the means to minister to myself. Reading my words back You speak life into me, Oh God I thank You! 

Please continue to bless me with creativity that is only blessed by Your hand. Prospering as You see fit, I pray for obedience through it all. Alphabet.