herlucidlife

He called me a virtuous woman. A faceless man behind a screen seemed to see me clearer than any guy in my past, is it too soon? Not like the others, not fixing your mouth to worry about my figure or the sexual anatomy I’m praying because something feels concrete here. Terrified. I almost don’t care what you look like because the inside is perfectly matched to what I’m looking for. Not having to ask, you’ve already spoken godly words over my being. Keeping my eyes open even Satan knew God’s word when he fell from heaven puncturing the hearts of every human creating sinful heart disease in the world. 

Yet, if I’m skeptical of every blessing coming into my life then how much am I trusting God? Discernment isn’t doubt but it’s closely listening to God’s tone of voice, feeling Him in my gut Holy Spirit whispering His words to me the heavenly messenger, I don’t need to doubt when being directed by the Most High. Calling me “dear” so endearing my heart is slowly falling, keeping guards up still tall. I’m wanting to let them down just a little. Something feels safe here, perhaps delusional hoping my faculties are operating correctly, only time will tell. Enjoying the ride for now, not trying to question too much. At this point I’m no longer fearful of getting hurt rather I’m afraid of missing out on the freedom of living life abundantly through Jesus. 

I’d never have encountered you if I’d not branched out of my comfort zone onto other platforms, given the idea by my dear brother…Let’s take a moment of silence for a beautiful soul that was snuffed out last night. The term “gone too soon” comes to mind, I don’t like it. Gone too soon for our liking yet God had already ordered his departure long before, there’s somethings the Father just doesn’t want us to know. Viewing you from birth, the strength and love in this beautiful brown skinned family was unmatched by any I’d ever witnessed. Bonded to the core, these four had each other’s souls like God keeps ours, so tight air couldn’t squeeze through the glue holding them together. 

Now missing the fourth member, the youngest was called home unexpectedly. Shock of disbelief, if you read this post, pray for the members of this family needing the warriors of prayer on their side, one voice isn’t enough. Having plans in place for his future, these moments make life seem incomprehensible. Hearing my dearest friend wailing on the other side of the phone, detrimental heartbreak in her spirit I couldn’t help but choke on my words. I could hear the anger through her tears. I said nothing at all. It never crossed my mind that he could die though we all leave at the appointed time. Living life to the fullest is an understatement when looking at how quickly life can go from light to black. 

Sometimes there’s no lesson to be learned, no deep sentiment God is trying to share by painting our lives the way He sees fit. Faithful to the Lord it warms my heart to know this young man had accepted Jesus Christ into His heart as Lord and Savior always giving praise to the Most High. We will see him soon. God just simply wanted His baby home with Him. It’s not my place to understand the way God thinks but I know what happened makes perfect sense to Him. 

God is still good.