herlucidlife

I felt mentally different and hungry to let go of the past. Letting go of broken relationships, shattered promises, letting go of the woman I wanted to be. The old me is dead in the grave along with every sin. I had to re-blocked some folks that reminded me all too well of who I no longer want to be. Wishy washy in my stance against banning certain men from my life, some just don’t house well being for others in their bones. Taking for the sake of taking, taking for the sake of me giving more than you deserve. God whispered to me all too nicely and lovingly, “daughter it’s time to let go and move on.” Hurt still lingers but God will clean that bruise away in due time. 

Anger’s emotion wanted to become my partner in crime not inherently negative really it’s the action bitterness creates that is unnerving to the Father. I’d rather have my anger bound to Him than bringing me further into nations I never wanted to visit. I had to pray over you to see you clearly. I had to step away to hear His voice and instruction on how to handle you. Seems my job is done and I need to move before more detriment comes to my door. I actually really really liked the church boy but I guess not all of us have accepted the new creation God wants for us. No arrogance in this voice. I struggle daily with being better which grants me a clear view to see when someone is manifesting a life of worldly knowledge to manipulate what they want. 

Master mind at heart nothing in you wanted to speak kindness from God because you cared, but because I housed something fleshy you wanted. Unfortunately I wanted it too in hopes it would be more than havoc on the body. It was less than that. Revealed, shades off the eyes seeing the sun clearly on your face. The heart is hurt so she likes to linger but the mind is fixed on the Mighty One so she needs grace in moving forward away from you and them. Running, sprinting in the other direction I can not move quickly enough to get away from everything I once held close. This spirit of mine will never die because she belongs to the Most High God. Surrendering more than I ever have before, it’s becoming a new skill. Wanting even the body I inhabit as a weapon for His will alone. She scares me with the pain and moans she makes, some I don’t understand while others are like second nature. 

He calls me daughter and I call Him Father. He calls me friend, while I call Him Savior. Nothing like I’ve ever experienced, life would be a dismal place without the One. Take me with You wherever You go so I’m never alone. Stuck to You like glue, hold me tightly until the end of eternity never ending. I will be with You and You with I.