herlucidlife

Making it into my blog a couple more times.  I’d like to say this will be the last time, unfortunately I don’t control clocks. Singing love songs in the house they actually helped me see clearly. You fit the mold of the guy that breaks hearts for fun. You seem to want to be the player of your story but you can’t treat people ugly and get away with it. I never got away with my behavior and neither will you, consequences always come to the correct player. Life is too short to hold grudges, too short not to talk and be friendly. While, life is also too short for disobedience toward God because just perhaps He told me to not speak to you. 

Minuscule thoughts turn into all day battles in the brain. Telling myself I’ll definitely let go at the year mark, but why wait just a couple months? Just another phase in the healing process from you. To lose a friend is to lose a soulmate. The hole has begun closing up, not sure what percentage is left, only the counting down of hours will tell. Connected to other close friends, I don’t want to bore you with the finite details. Already knowing the story, nothing else to share but I’m not as hurt as I once was. 

Not heavy anymore, rather it’s annoying having this feeling. Acting on what I know because emotions have gotten me in trouble in the past. What I know is God has granted sufficient grace to get through the day. Strength in knowing He is by my side helping me through every feeling. My confidant in the storm, He listens to the whisper of your name blessing the tears that drop from my face. Nothing like you, He’s stuck closer than a friend He is my Father. Showing the love I so longed for, safe with Him and His direction. 

I will wait on God. I will be patient with myself allowing God to open doors I didn’t know possible. I will heed His counsel and work on the task at hand. Hands full, no room for you honestly you’d just get in the way and I in yours. Revealing things at the correct time, God will unveil what I need in due time. Until then I wait patiently working, building, creating.