herlucidlife

Full in the mind from thinking too much about you. Needing to help myself out of the mental gutter, I listened to your music as most artists are more truthful in song than in person speaking to their face. Leaving it all on the table referring to me as a “good girl gone psycho.” Referencing that “another is in love with me yet that means nothing to me.” The exact push I needed to go over the cliff of leaving you alone for good. I assisted the healing process without causing more damage. Without stepping outside of God’s boundary, obedient in my approach I received the necessary information. 

Easier to let go after being a helping hand to those with no roof over their head, immediately you felt insignificant. Signing myself up for more work toward others for the following week ahead, loving them granted access to loving myself too. Being so consumed in the mind makes you seem bigger than you really are. Barely encompassing a fraction of my life really you carry barely an ant sized amount of importance to my everyday life. Bringing back into focus the task at hand…to meet the physical needs of those going without necessities, while creating healthy relationships that mimic God’s love. 

Walking and talking the gospel, actually “doing” better because “trying” to do better is attempting to do but somehow failing anyhow. Made to thrive in the darkest of times, gravitating toward the wealth of health. Leaving behind things, substances, and people that seem detrimental to the overall goal of walking in His light. Nothing is wrong with putting others behind the curtain to never look back at their face. Using never loosely, I will see you again on a friend trip or friend function that maybe you populate, but I keep my distance and leave space for time to mold and change how I feel about you. No need to be in my life daily, quite frankly God blessed me with a friend that cares way more about me than you ever had. 

Interesting how God removes people to bring in the person that fits better in the time and space for that specific season’s needs. Not one sided, God brings people together who need each other at the correct time and when the purpose has been fulfilled please expect to be moved aside because the season has ended. Never easy some seasons last years while others can be months or days, and not all seasons are consecutive. Some may pop in and out while others appear then disappear to never return. Curious to see how God will set up this season of you, but for now I rest knowing a season of your absence is here and living well. 

Learning the art of letting go from a God who dwells in the future, commanding to not look backward but to stride forward. Been feeling different, sensing renewal in my midst. Heart and mind changing for the better, by nothing I’ve done but by the grace of God He is holding me together. Ensuring grace and mercy is ever flowing to me that I allow it to flow through me to bless others through excess. I hope you get the help you need because I am.