herlucidlife

I had a thought today, I always assumed that my gift would be a passion that only housed joy. Yet, now that I’m here maybe not all gifts come with just delight. Some gifts bring different needed essentials to give God glory. Scribbling is my passion, it flows from gladness above with every measure, she is my truest form of artistic expression. Recently another form has brought itself as a gift, manufacturing velvet oils into plain glass homes, this gift doesn’t hold just jubilation but peace. 

She holds patience, she houses staying the course even when fear wants to back out. There are roads up ahead that need materials to make me wealthy in character. I haven’t even planted my seed good but God’s already bringing much needed integrity changes to my front door. Knocking hard, they broke down the door, surrendering is my only option. Not all glamorous, grunt work, behind the scenes. Giving time and attention to others in need, anything seen as right in God’s eyes is a gift when used for His praises. 

I don’t like how I’m feeling, thought someone I knew liked me for real but seems dating around is the trend. To be frank, dating around is to shout for attention, “pick me” on the forehead it’s unattractive. Can you tell I’m irritated with the opposite sex? Once in the same boat I had to get out to see my self worth is more than attaching myself to the next candidate. Hypocritical in words, I’d love to be connected. Unfortunately I’ve seen fake behavior ride through the bones entering the soul, intentions never truly match the energy. Is an easy lay the goal for most walking this earth calling themselves manly? Not a special prize, most of us walking around are someone’s dirty leftovers. Transformed into God’s likeness He’s the only one strong enough to wipe away my past failures. 

Using them for good, for my instruction I could see the red flags from a mile away. Shooting yourself in the foot before entry, I’ve already been told you aren’t it and you proved your actions through posts to media networks. Giving too much energy in my direction, phony with purpose, not jumping to conclusions. Seems some things don’t change. Playing the field in college like a linebacker having more notches on your belt than I could count. Half the girls on the squad had been pegged by you. Never coming close to my body, we’ve never really spoken in-depth but the way you moved spoke more than enough. I could be wrong but my gut doesn’t feel as such or perhaps the second guessing is me wanting to be loved genuinely. Not the time for that, I’ll wait patiently entertaining no one so the correct person knows their spot is open waiting for their arrival.