herlucidlife

His golden hour hits me every time his name crosses my screen, I smile so big my heart feels at ease. The rest of our lives together started two weeks ago, I’m not sure if you feel the same. I almost don’t care though it would be needed to progress. The reader may get tired of hearing of my love life but heck even the other parts of living slumps me to tears. Only love is really interesting. Woke up with you in my mind, went through the day praying you’re alright, slept holding you in my chest. At the bottom of the bottle, praying I don’t hit heartbreak moments later. 

Wanting to be in your corner, is it weird to want to give love for love in return? Thinking I hope he sees more in me than a pretty brown skinned body, he seems to be paying attention to what comes out of my mouth…already he’s more than what I expected. Never knowing what someone houses, be careful of laying with folks that could turn your heart out.  Assuming he knows my past I get fearful when thinking of telling him everything I’ve done, what if it’s unacceptable? Concentrating on your own sorted past, some of which I saw first hand, I don’t care about it, none of my concern just as mine is none of yours…though I’ll share to give you more insight on what it took to be who you see today.  

Clean slated like a slab of concrete never been walked on, I’d love to have your heart if you hold mine? Carefully with loving tenderness and mutual respect that’s all I’ll accept…and nothing less, I’ve had less and it benefits no one. Jotting down sentiments of the heart swirling with liquid influence, sadness and gladness fill this body. Believing the truth in both, I haven’t been well for years. I want you to unleash everything you need, even the things I can’t control. You will be my next boyfriend, I will steal your heart and you mine.

Chasing a sensation, a fleeting feeling, God I need Your hand to move me from every substance. Most times I don’t trust myself to do the work You’ve called me to do. Thankfully You love me like no other, I need exactly what You give me at every moment even the self destructive behavior I give myself has been worked into the goodness of Your grace.