herlucidlife

The way you look at me is something I’ve never experienced. No one has ever gazed at me the way you do. Constantly stepping back to give this earnest stare with such care, love, and wonder…the look is so deep I constantly question what it means because I need you to tell me from your mouth. But I’ll settle for the look in your eye that says, “I think I’ve found her, the one, my girl.” Burnt out in the other areas of my life, growing weary, I’ve put a fork in everything. Resting too much, sleeping more than usual, body to soft cushion more than neccessary. The doctor said I need to move more, yet even operating these limbs for an hour and a half a day doesn’t seem like enough. 

So many plans for future growth will come to pass at the correct time, so I will enjoy this moment of rest for it was not by my hand that it came now. God seems to program rest into my life naturally, while work also has its own schedule. I can feel the growth I’m in, liking and loving myself more than before though insecurities are still very much present. I push through them daily. My lack of self confidence is wrapped in what others think of me for what they have said has been nothing but positive affirmations. These notes of goodness match the words I whisper daily and they shout the words God kisses to me every minute. 

So I ignore negative talk, people and places and move with love in my bones for every person in my path, known or unknown. You will be treated well and loved by me, though I tend to hide in my little hole of life. It’s comfy here until I remind myself that it’s okay to pop out and enjoy the blessings of life and people. Trying not to take everything so seriously, reminding myself not to take me so earnestly, for the only thing to take boldly is the word of God. Anything else is a ticking time bomb of temporary happiness and woes so might as well enjoy the ride, spread the good news of God, and laugh more than cry.