herlucidlife

Something about pecking away at the keyboard feeling each button pop up and down. Clicking away the sound nourishes my mind and soothes my heart, calming the noise between my ears. It’s a natural high. The crush. I think about him everyday. I pray for him every night and sometimes double if my mind is a little eager and doesn’t want to let go. I see him most Sundays, Wednesdays and if I’m blessed on a random Saturday. For those who have loved afar, then you understand the aroma someone can leave without even doing much. The beauty of genuine interest is that it can move slowly and I’ve prayed for something like this long before I knew who he was. 

I was never the type to pray for a spouse. Yet as I’ve gone through so many failed relationships I’ve shrunk my list down to one requirement: that he be a godly man chasing after Jesus in every way. God has shown me that those who genuinely love Him will chase after Him with everything in them and it will manifest in their personality, character and love for others. I don’t need to pray for compassion and kindness because someone who is chasing after God will naturally be cultivating those characteristics anyway. I never thought someone would have what I was dreaming of but God never forgot about me.

I find that when I pray for God’s will He is faithful to deliver. This person is in the will of God which naturally vehicles me into going deeper into my own relationship with Christ. I won’t find him in the world but at the feet of Jesus. I see God writing a love story. It’s slow, sweet and intentional. Not on our parts but on God’s. No one has gone outside themselves to get to the other rather I was obedient and God granted access in His divine way. Being in the same small group was God’s divine provision. I found my forever love simply because I did what God asked me to do. I continue to do what He commands so that I don’t mess over anything or anyone. 

Make no mistake, I don’t say he is my forever love because this man has told me something special. Yet I say it because of the huge immense faith I have in God and I know for a fact He will never let me down. God’s shown, He’s confirmed and all I have to do is trust and believe.