herlucidlife

I booked my first therapy session. I could not be more excited, proud and blessed. Thank God for a company that cares about their employees. Free of charge, no credit card on file. God is good. Next Wednesday I will be experiencing my first session in three years. I had been trying to ignore God’s voice. Doing my best to turn a blind eye to the truth I knew deep inside but didn’t want to look at. I’m not ready to be with anyone but me. People weren’t telling me but God was using them to speak to me. I didn’t want to hear Him. He kept removing people. Clearing the path straight forward. I couldn’t deny that God’s hand was blocking anything and anyone that could turn my focus away. 

Here I am. More single than I’ve ever been in my life and it’s scary. I’m used to dating but I’m not used to it just being me. Even in this fear there is a sense of peace because I know I’m exactly where I need to be. God loves me so much that He wasn’t going to allow another distraction. He is helping me, exactly what I asked for, He is giving. Without fail, He is providing what I need when I need it. I have nothing to hide behind. It’s all or nothing and it must happen now. God has too much planned for the future. I need to be correct mentally and spiritually before I can move to the next phase of life. 

As I walk this line with God the fear will fall away. Courage to keep going with nothing in my way. The roadblocks have been removed. The hard part is not allowing anymore into my path. I often welcome roadblocks because I crave a distraction from the hard work needing to be done inside. A sign of immaturity. On the other hand, I see the pattern and a sign of maturity is keeping myself away from the temptation.