herlucidlife

Precious, sweet, enduring little creature who just wants to be around me. My little cat has taught me so much about my relationship with God. She sits close never too far away. I take care of her and she’s able to live freely and joyfully. God takes care of me that I may be able to live and shine His light to those around me. Every time I get a big mason jar full of water she races me to the table to take a nice sip. Her little head barely fits in the jar but she’s still tries to get water. Clawing at the jar until it falls over, she doesn’t understand that she does not fit. Gently taking her head out of the jar, telling her it won’t work, I softly nudge her toward her own cup of water that fits her perfectly. 

I’m my cat, constantly trying to make sin work that God says won’t work. Steady turning to the same pattern of thinking and behavior hoping it’ll work this time, but it never does. God keeps nudging me softly to what will work, and I keep going to this same jar that doesn’t fit me. Until eventually I get tired of trying and sit down next to my Father. Unfortunately, just like my cat I too will try to make this old way work when I know it won’t. The counterfeit isn’t someone else, it’s me. Thinking the same old attraction will work but it doesn’t. Being a little vague in explaining my heart.

I fall for very similar men. All have been hardworking, ambitious in a ridiculous way, manipulative in a sneaky “I’m the nice guy” kind of way, and too focused to settle down. What’s crazy is I have the relationship I want; he is so caring. I literally have nothing to complain about or add. Our relationship is not perfect, yet it is the best relationship I have ever been in. I’ve never felt so comfortable being myself and accepting. Quirks slipping out on both sides, loving exactly how he is, looking to change nothing. Never wishing he were someone else. Can it be sent from God and not be perfect?