herlucidlife

Going to the gym, bopping around town, head down minding my business. Distractions have been minimal. I struggle with not spending money on food and even that is a mindset shift. God has taught me to dig deep and really get in touch with the energy of, “do I really want it?” In the past after a “relationship” ending I would have become restless and signed up for a dating site, and though I did. I deleted it the same hour because my spirit was saying, “that’s not really what you want.” I would have constantly been looking for a distraction. I’m learning that when I focus on the actual work there really is no time to become distracted. On a N.A. Zoom call, the topic of the meeting was “prayer and works.” My prayers for the beginning of this year were different than before. Twice in my life I prayed over the years twenty twenty-two and twenty twenty-five. Something about this year felt more exciting than most, and felt more driven by God’s purpose.

Several words popped up for the beginning of this year; change, gratitude, connection, purpose and miracle. Most of which began taking root in my life in twenty twenty-four yet the word I had not been looking for was impact. I’ve always wanted to be known for my writing, in other words I wanted my writing to make me rich and famous. Yet, what will I gain if every follower knows my name but does not know the name of Jesus? What happens to our souls when every follower is looking to a human but not looking to Jesus? God has been softly redirecting my view, the purpose is not to be rich and famous, the purpose is impact. Impact encompassess the change God makes through me within others. It creates the connection needed to share the word of God. It fosters additional thanksgiving or gratitude to God when I share my testimony with others and they see themselves in my story. Thus allowing God the space to perform miracles in others lives. 

I forgot that I am not the prize, Christ is. I was thinking arrogantly about my abilities as a human with a great talent yet even that talent can become warped if used for selfish gain. As an image bearer of God I have a responsibility to steward His gift correctly. This gift is not mine because why would God want billions of followers yet no one who truly loves Him? Likewise why would I want thousands of followers and not one has accepted Christ as their Lord and Savior through these words?  There is no need to follow me or intake what I share if it does not bring you deeper into a relationship with God. The gift God grants me would be misused if it’s sole purpose was to make me famous. I can’t save your soul but Jesus can. So follow Him and not me.