herlucidlife

When I tunneled in on the word impact, it changed how I pray over my blogs. I don’t just want the reader to be blessed, I want the words of Christ to penetrate their hearts that they may be saved. Impact also changed how I see myself in my day-to-day life. I make more of an impact than I realized. God has directly shown that when I speak of our relationship freely, it burns a fire in those around me. What we are working on is the split between ego and God getting the glory. It can feel like an ego boost when I see the fire being ignited but then I remind myself, I didn’t do that God did. God does it all, He simply loves me enough to allow me to be a part of His bigger plan.

With this view of impact in my mind, it switches what I mentally think about. My deepest goal for this year is to continue growing deeper in Christ as a person. Not to be a better woman, or seek that relationship, not to be skinny or have the right diet. I simply want to be a person solely attached to Christ. Most of my young adult life has been centered around being attractive to the opposite sex. Yet the last romantic encounter made it so clear for me, as long as I want a relationship more than God I will always choose the wrong thing because I’ll be operating off of emotion and not God’s discernment. Since that ending a little over a month ago I’ve felt free and unburdened. The wrong connections even if done with correct intentions can be draining and lead to paths of destruction. Thank God, He crooks the road and gives me the strength to walk away from things.

Coming out of that situation I felt exhausted, drained and unhealthy all around. The weeks to come have been healing all around, my mind has felt at ease, my days have been centered on a healthy routine and God has been bringing to mind the mental setbacks that keep me trapped in unhealthy cycles. I’ve lost a little weight, gained peace of mind and overall have found joy in simply being a person. Unattached, dreams are coming back. I no longer see dreams as something that goes against God but more so these dreams can show God’s glory. He answers prayers and does miracles and wonders. There’s a saying that “we walk in the days we used to pray for.” The words feel empty until the reality is true. I often cry at the changes God has made in my life, around me and in me. The most loving part is that He is not done yet, I have big dreams, things I need God for. I’m excited to see what He does with them!