herlucidlife

Church service has let out, my soul is full of not simply conviction but obedience. Driving to the lake, talking out loud to myself. Arriving, walking to a park bench the sun bouncing off the ripples in the water. Seeing another believer with their bible, coming to spend time with God. I had all these words to spill on these pages leading up until the point, but I choked. Opening up the bible ready to share what God has laid on my heart and the words grew cold. Mute, my mind left, nothing to say. I felt God say, be authentic rather than preachy. Reading first Thessalonians chapter one verse two through ten in bible study this morning. The focus was specifically on verse nine through ten. 

The church of Thessalonians were new believers perhaps one to two years in faith under their belts. Having mentored these new believers for a short time, Paul was writing to them out of concern for their newfound faith in Christ. Yet he had nothing to correct them on because their fire for God created ripple effects. They were sharing the gospel with everyone. Scripture says “For the Lord’s message rang out from you, not only in Macedonia and Achaia, but in every place that your faith in God has gone out. Therefore, we don’t need to say anything, for they themselves report what kind of reception we had from you: how you turned from idols to serve the living and true God and to wait for His Son from heaven, whom He raised from the dead — Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath.” 

I don’t consider myself to be a new believer, yet I am absolutely not seasoned either. Regardless of the length of time, I often look at those that have recently come to the faith in envy because they seem to have a fire that I lack. I love God, I have faith in Jesus and yet I still get scared when talking about Him to others. I still feel awkward when sharing my belief in God and most times feel unprepared. I lack a burdened and saddened heart for the lost. I do my best to allow God to lead me to those that need a message yet most times I’m sharing to feel good about my obedience. Like at what point will I share more for their needs and less for my obedience? 

Truly, obedience is an outpouring of love to God through the Holy Spirit. I don’t believe I love God less, yet I look at the church in Thessalonians and perhaps they had the same feelings or perhaps they were so on fire for Christ in a space where people were so void of God it never crossed their minds to feel that way. It was evident they had found something different and the love they had for God could not be kept shut in. Is my fire burning bright or a low smolder? I ask God to search my heart and bring up things that would allow the fire to be quieted. In Jesus Name.