herlucidlife

Had a conversation with my pastor today. I gave my life over to God because the question was posed at church, “where will you go when you die?” Immediately a small twinge of doubt creeped into my mind. I know deep in my bones I’m going to heaven. I would be lying if I denied that I don’t question it every now and then. Not because God’s salvation isn’t faithful but because my actions can be wrapped in struggle. I encounter daily struggle, moment by moment tug of war, Spirit vs evil desires. Going up to my pastor after church for some kind of encouragement. He made some very good points that often leave my mind. I needed a reminder that God has me and I have Him because that kind of doubt absolutely cannot linger. 

Let’s talk about how kind God is because even when I falter in being obedient, He brings the very task to my feet and says “here.” God needs me to speak, there are people that need my obedience to God. There are people on the other side of that action that need to witness God. I hear God telling me this so clearly, it’s not about what I can do but it’s about what He can do through me. My obedience is not the soul saver, it’s the Holy Spirit working through me that saves souls. Obedience is not about me; it’s about allowing God space in my life to move through me for others. I’m simply a vessel that He loves so much. 

Since I know that love personally, I have a desire and an obligation to share because to live for Jesus means I keep His commands. For God says “you shall therefore love the LORD your God and always keep His charge, His statutes, His ordinances, and His commandments” Deuteronomy chapter eleven verse one. The most loving act I can do is tell someone about Jesus. My pastor also reminded me that struggle does not mean I’m not on the right path. I can be on the right path and laid out but I’m still on the right path. Sanctification is messy. It’s sometimes difficult for me to share the gospel because I’m so focused on where I am not. I’m focused on how disqualified I feel when God qualified me with the blood of Jesus. I was sharing my recovery journey with someone, and I felt myself stumbling over my words because I had not faced the trauma she had faced. I was having a hard time-sharing God because I had not been through what she had been through. In those times, I pray for them to receive God’s call and for myself to stand firm in my words because God has called me to share with all people. 

I’ve noticed once I begin to pray, I become burdened for those people, I ask God to step in and do exactly what only He can do. All I can do is speak the words and do the actions out of faithful obedience. Yet only God saves souls and changes the heart of man.