herlucidlife

An idol is anything and anyone I place above God. I had so many idols I was drowning. In Exodus thirty-two and all throughout the Old Testament the Israelites constantly turned to idols. Most were hand carved statues crafted by their hands, still to this day man will worship what they have created. I’ve had so many idols in my lifetime and still have several. Overeat to fill emotional voids. I was seeking attention from men through sex and relationships to fill spiritual and personal voids. I was using drugs and porn to fill spiritual voids I didn’t even realize I had until one day I felt more empty than whole. God showed me how much I was giving power to when I was powerless. At the end of myself, nothing else to give I only had God to rely on. 

I believe the Israelites came to the same conclusion over and over again. The idols seemed okay until things were so bad, they had to cry out to God. I’m doing my best through the Holy Spirit to not turn back to those sins. When I surrendered those idols, I began to see how big the emotional, spiritual and mental voids were. I thought if I removed the idol then everything would be okay. God taught me that removing the idol simply allowed space for Him to change my heart posture toward Him. The Israelites didn’t make an idol because they were nice to look at. They made idols because they were impatience, greedy, self-centered, hard hearted, and hardheaded people. They loved God enough for Him to remove them out of the bondage they’d placed themselves in but not enough to truly foster a relationship with Him. They served Him as long as the Judge or Leader of the group made it a priority but once that leader died, they went right back to sin. 

For a long time, I was riding the coattails of my mother’s relationship with God. It took me a long time to really devote time to nurturing a relationship with Him. After her passing, I was in a spiritual cycle for years on and off again. I was lukewarm, going to church on Sunday but not pursuing Christ. Church was an intellectual game because I understood the word but was not applying it. Desperation in my addiction brought me to my knees and I haven’t been the same. I’ve struggled but I’m thankful that through surrender God keeps removing idols. He continues to nurture me in all things, discipline is nurturing. The best part is I get to have a deep relationship with God. He changed me, I don’t miss the things I gave up. I look at myself and the world so differently. Our relationship has brought me into contact with people that I never would have met if I hadn’t stepped out on faith and allowed God to control my life.

It’s hard. Following Christ is grueling and joyful and painful and serene and sacrificial and loving and obedient and rewarding. And I know for a fact that I would be dead if it weren’t for Jesus saving my life on the cross and every single day after that. Give up the idols they don’t love you, but Jesus loves you so much that He died. When has one of your idols ever died for you? None of mine did.