herlucidlife

God has been protecting me from you this whole time. I didn’t want to let go either, then I was reminded that I have the authority of God to let you go…so I did. I am free of you. I will no longer have dreams of you or write about you in my love stories (well maybe a little bit). I will no longer bring you up to friends because you no longer hold any power in my life. I took back my power when I released you from my spirit. I will no longer engage with you through my emotions. I am free. I have been set free. You’ve been manifesting me through your energy, thoughts and dreams. I was accepting of your contact because it was bringing up emotions in me that were unresolved. I no longer long for you to be in my life. I no longer yearn for closure. You will no longer be able to contact me through any means because the ties have been cut and blocked. 

I have freed up space for God to bring the correct man into my life. I will never cut him off because he will be the correct love I need. I will talk about him as though he is already here, because he is. My love for him began when you decided to leave. There are no redos or go backs. I’ve released you with all the care in my heart, I’ve asked God to protect you but I will no longer be entertaining any idea of you. You are a figment of my past life, gone into the void of memories that will soon be so old I will barely remember the high points. I live in that space today. My life is vastly different than when you left it. I walk in the grace and authority of God. What an amazing creation God is building up in me. Thing about a love story is that something has to die in order for the newness of beauty to breathe life. 

I’m so in love with you. God has brought my heart into utter acceptance of who you are. I have never met you, I have no clue what you look like. Yet I love the Holy Spirit that resides in your soul. I often wonder when I will meet you or if I’ve met you already and didn’t know it was you. Come here! Hold me in the stillness of night, caress my skin in the brightness of the sun, let us gaze at each other in the awe of God. Your hands are smooth with strong roughness that hold together love and accountability. I love you. You were mine before I ever knew it. Our names were joined together before the healing process began. We were both damaged looking for love but we always faltered to the illusion of love wrapped in lust. It was counterfeit. Too impatient to wait for the real thing, we caused ourselves and others a lot of harm. 

But God caught our hearts before the beginning of time. He held us together in His hands. We were chosen for more than just each other, we were chosen for Him. We began moving toward Him instead of away. We began chasing God more than people. We began loving God more than the attention of the next fling. We yearned for the godly love God speaks about in the bible. We stopped settling and began working, working on ourselves. Devoted to our relationships with God, we began taking His commands and love seriously. We became aligned before we knew each other’s name. I saw you with my heart, you answered with your soul. You called me yours through God and I answered I do. We walk together in love and respect, hand in hand. Building to care for, tearing down what keeps us from God. 

We love because God first loved us.