herlucidlife

Along with the thought of motives, I began looking at the reason I post to social media. Writing has always been a labor of love. I enjoy when people read, yet I was writing when no one was reading and I’ll be writing if people stop reading. This is a safe space, something built with God to heal and create with Him. It never had anything to do with others because it was not the goal when I began. On the other hand, social media is a very different story. I began YouTube with the idea of getting money and recognition, likewise with social media. I began posting on other socials to get my blog out there but ultimately I wanted some kind of recognition. Sharing about God on these platforms felt wrong because the motive was not genuine. 

I deleted YouTube and social media apps to remove distraction and to assess my motives. I never want to speak about God in an effort to gain recognition, money and ultimately attention. Cold halt, stop. I’m slowly considering when I will be able to produce any videos. I believe God wants me to create videos, yet motives and intentions must be correct before resuming. Hearing others like my videos, in a way played into my yearning for attention. It felt good, the question is, would I make the videos if no one watched? I can say no. It’s something I’ve struggled being consistent with, yet God has allowed me to be consistent with writing for five years. 

The wrong motives can make the right actions difficult to sustain. The wrong intentions can make the correct actions be tainted and deceiving. Definitely when concerning God, caution should be exercised. God is not simply loving but His anger is controlled and will be brought forth at the correct time through wrath. God isn’t only understanding, He is all knowing, meaning He knows every intention and every heart of all people on earth. God is not only loving, He is holy meaning sin can not sit in His face and go unnoticed. He is not only kind but judgment meaning He will soon call to question every good and bad thing we all have done. My motives are not hidden from God, they are more visible to Him than they are me. 

God slowed me down, used a well written Spirit filled book to call my attention to the roots of my soul. My heart was crooked even though my actions seemed wholesome. God pulled me back to correct me before giving back the things I was commanded to put down. I was not able to properly handle the responsibility. For years I wanted to take a step back yet a friend gave me a little push of confirmation. Now I see God was revealing motives while my initial reason was I don’t like posting to social media. God’s voice will decide if I go back online, in the meantime I am unlearning the default.