herlucidlife

The greatest challenge is waiting when I think a new love is on the horizon. Having received advice from a dear friend. During the conversation I felt a prompt to pray before acting. Once the phone call ended I prayed about the advice and felt God tell me to wait. For what? I’m not sure. The hardest part is receiving advice but hearing God’s voice say something else. Wanting and needing to follow God’s direction, Jesus is perfecting my faith in the midst of everyday life. Going back and forth in my mind, it came to my attention that being obedient to God is the most caring thing I can do for myself and the other person. 

Ruin has always followed disobedience no matter how great my intentions were. I refuse to hurt another man because I disregarded the voice of Jesus. Sharing with my friends they encouraged me to wait as Jesus had instructed. In my mind the thought is tough, yet in reality I will have no other choice but to listen to Jesus. I love the direction of Jesus because He didn’t say “no,” He said “wait.” Waiting includes preparation not a denial but perhaps a protection. My mind has already been creating little fantasies, some appropriate while others need a triple x label. 

Having already planned the first date, my mind is doing that thing I hate. Future tripping! It always creates too much pressure and unspoken expectations. I told myself I wouldn’t do this and then I think well maybe I little wouldn’t hurt, then down the spiral I go. When I get excited, I get controlling but I felt Jesus tell me I don’t have to control anything. He will make a way. I asked Him to do so many months ago and He has done exactly that. I remember praying, “God if this attraction is in Your will open the door and if not close it.” I’ve been watching how He opened a door I thought was closed. I must remember that God creates beauty out of every detail while I have made a mess of every romantic relationship. Every single one went against God. 

I’m going to trust God with this because He’s already making things happen that I didn’t think would. I’m learning to find content even in this area of life and it’s made living that much more peaceful. For I can not bring peace to others if I’m not bringing it to myself through obedience. He has a place in every detail of my life. The most wonderful love stories are written through God. Patience, surrender and acceptance will breed a human love that houses the divine nature of Christ. I’m not looking for a fairy tale, just what it’s supposed to be.