herlucidlife

I haven’t been eating alot lately. I’ve severely limited my food intake while also focusing more on raw foods instead of cooked foods. The spiritual awareness I’ve been feeling has been comforting but mostly enlightening and empowering. I feel a deeper connection with God because I’m not turning to food to cover emotions nor enhance happy emotions. I hadn’t realized I was using food like a drug. I used it for every occasion. I was eating when I was sad, excited or if something good happened and even something I didn’t like happened. I ate. 

I was edging God out of my life because I was relying on food for the comfort God was supposed to be giving but I wouldn’t let Him. God wants to be all things in my life but I was not not allowing Him to be God because the food was the higher power of my emotions and life ultimately. Stepping back from food during the week has also helped me not eat so much on the weekend. I don’t feel as though I’m taking three steps back in my journey to being healthier. I am not bloated, my body digests food easier and faster. My joints are no longer tight, my body is not carrying fluid and workout sessions flow better because my body is not constantly holding onto food. 

The quality of sleep has gotten better, going to bed with a full stomach keeps my body from healing itself. Eating a lighter, smaller meal earlier in the day has allowed me to see that I was only eating out of obligation not because I was actually hungry. I was eating because I thought I needed to eat or because it was a habit not because my body was actually calling for food. My body was constantly full and now that I operate in a deficit I realize my body, mind and spirit operate on a deeper level. I went into this wanting to try something different I never realized the overall healing I would be stepping into. 

I also didn’t expect my self-esteem to sky rocket. I stopped feeling bad about myself because I was actually doing something different about my eating and enjoying it. I’m learning to restrict while also not hurting nor hindering myself. There’s a fine line and I often go from one extreme to the next. I don’t want to starve myself but I do want to choose better options when I do eat. Not fully perfect but I’m choosing way better than what I was before and for me that’s enough.