herlucidlife

I often look at how the details are going to line up when considering surrender, not much trust on my part. When I moved to a new state, I knew only one person. I had no clue that in two months that person would longer be a part of my life. The details didn’t add up but somehow with every given opportunity, with every step taken the puzzle pieces created a picture more beautiful than I could have imagined. 

I didn’t know how it was going to happen but it did. With only $1,300 in my pocket and only what could fit in my car I moved. No job, no place to stay, just me. I applied to only one apartment the first day I touched down in my new home state. The apartment manager held my application for a month until I could show proof of income. Having spent $700 on an AirBnb, I needed to make money. Before relocating I got approved for UberEats. 

The only person I knew in town showed compassion and allowed me to stay at their apartment while I solidified my place. Doing UberEats delivery driving for ten hours a day. Thousands of miles on my car in a month, I was determined to make it work. Two days shy of a month I sent over proof of income. The next hour the apartment manager was calling me asking when I wanted to move in. Moving in the next day, God kept aligning things. 

Working harder than I ever have in my life, balling my eyes out most days because fear is a wanch. Yet I trusted God way too much to turn back now. He granted me a stable job, furniture donated by my new church family, and peace of mind. Sitting comfortable in my apartment after two years, my little cat calls this place home. I look to God thinking, it’s time to step back out on faith. I’m settled, healthy, mentally and emotionally stable for the most part, my recovery is stronger now. I feel as though God is calling me to surrender again. 

Looking past what I want and into the greater good that only God can see. A couple years ago I wanted to move. I just couldn’t see how the details align. Yet I don’t want to go to school nor can I see the details aligning. Seems there’s an even greater reason for obedience, usually the things I don’t want to do are the things I need to do.