herlucidlife

There have been times in my life when I don’t think I can go on. Beaten down by the bad choices I made. Carrying baggage on baggage of guilt and shame I was so far from God or so I thought. Looking back He was there all the time, protecting me even when I was outside of His will. Providing even when I was not doing right by the provisions He’d given me. 

Nothing can keep me from the love of God. No one, not even myself can keep me from Him. I tried to control my life and every time I became more and more beaten by my decisions. Not holding back the consequences, I see now the results should’ve been so much worse. Sobering to think God was protecting me when I was spitting in His face because I knew the truth.  

Sadly, I was doing my best to live godly without God. God has given us everything we need for life and godliness, 2 Peter 1:3. There’s no way I can live a good godly life without God. I can look the part but I can not achieve the true holiness He has called me to without Him. I looked the part on the outside but inside I was so cold and dark. 

I was intellectualizing the word instead of allowing it to penetrate my heart so scripture could transform me. I needed transformation, yet I wouldn’t surrender for it. It took years to get the hint but ultimately God kept knocking on the door of my heart, I finally opened the door. I’ve never been the same. 

I don’t crave the same things I used to crave. I don’t yearn to be in the same conversations I used to seek validation from. I find peace in knowing the lane God created for me is whole and benefits those around me at all times. I used to wreak havoc, now I sow seeds that blossom into God’s glory. Not every seed sowed grows because that’s up to God yet I sow every seed with great faith and diligence.

 We all need encouragement whether walking with God or not. We all need to know the greatest reward is not on this earth but in heaven. The reward can not be stolen and tarnished but it’s built by God for us to last eternity.