herlucidlife

My mind keeps circling around. Walking out of work, slowly making my way to the car. I wasn’t in a rush. My mind felt at ease. Often I feel like I’m rushing toward an imaginary destination. The journey is what it’s going to be and the only true destination is physical death. Even then the spirit continues to live on whether in heaven or hell. 

All the experiences I want are not a destination to be rushed toward but simply things that are listed on a calendar to be lived through. I don’t know when these things will happen, I’m not sure what day God has scheduled them for. Yet I know, rushing won’t make them happen any faster. 

I like to sit apart even when I’m in the midst of others. I like to separate myself even when I have the option to join in. Yet that characteristic can sometimes leave me thinking, “ am I missing out?” “Will I be considered if I’m not present?” The answer being yes and no. I receive what I need at all times. Sometimes not being included is a blessing, just as being included can be. 

I usually feel like I’m exactly where I need to be with the people I need to be with. Yet every now and then that sense of security fades when new people come into my life. As I continue to stick to where I need to be I learn that my presence is requested more often than not. To be where I need to be is more important to my sanity than anything else. 

Not rushing, doing my best to experience what comes my way. I’m filled with peace, confidence and overall sense of belonging. I’ve learned to create my own table rather than yearning for a seat at someone else’s. Seats are available at my table, the correct people need only sit down and commune. Some go, some come yet what never changes is the peace in knowing what happens is purposeful. With that I feel no need to rush.