herlucidlife

He never really wanted her yet he wanted the attention she gave. He wanted his fifteen minutes in someone else’s eyes, looking for answers to his needs in her eyes. She was genuine, putting all her chips in, her innocent heart fell for the trick. He didn’t really care about her like that, playing like he did, mm he was fake. A phony too scared to be real, a little boy stuck in a grown man’s world, he never wanted to be real with her. But maybe that’s why they clicked because she wanted attention too, his attention.

She loved him deeply, but he threw her out like last week’s garbage as soon as the smoke cleared. She ruined his song and dance, her true feelings were never supposed to be a factor. She gave him way too much for too little, he was undeserving. He gave her the cold shoulder, acting like he really cared for her but mm, he only wanted her when it was fun and games not real. Real meant he had to come correct, real meant he had to consider her emotions and feed them with his own vulnerability. Yet, he couldn’t do that because he was too busy running from himself into ego. 

Oh! But she ain’t broken, a little hurt but mm, she got his card and the hole has been punched. Maybe it’s karma for how she treated her union. Fact, he helped by showing his true colors so now her love for him can begin to fade like it should’ve always been, in the trash. Unfortunately, he got the best of her. Her feelings were hurt when he seemed so cold over the phone, she thought “maybe he’s going through something,” or maybe “he’s having a hard time dealing with  the truth she shared.” When really, the thrill had ended, she was no longer his plaything, welcoming the subtle flirting he threw out, she lowered her standards for him. 

You were supposed to be my friend, you were supposed to at least have my back if nothing else, but you couldn’t even do that. I gave up everything for you, granted you never asked me too but your actions said more than your words. Too bad your actions were lies and your words were few because you knew you were shady. Fake AF, you shiesty bro. Too bad love doesn’t turn off right away. 

True colors like a peacock, your ego running wild, but it’s okay because I’m stronger for it, while you’ll be sorry because of it. You’ll never hear from me again, you don’t have me in your back pocket, you think you’re true but you tried to ghost me, lame.  I would never treat you that way, you lost a true friend, riding for you till the end, but look you ain’t care about me no way.

I might cry later, not because you deserve it but because my emotions deserve the respect of being mourned over. They worked hard for you, always putting you first, acting like you cared was how you got me in your grasp. But nah! My love is too big to ignore and I will mourn respectfully for my emotions, I deserve that much. Unfortunately, something you’ll never be able to give me, but I hope one day maybe you can bring that kind of love to yourself, by yourself. 

You left me, but that doesn’t mean I have to be clueless to how you did me, I peep game you played me, but clearly you lost more.