herlucidlife

Got the numbing thing I wanted to take you away. Needing the Lord and His goodness always overflowing in my life, things inside have made it difficult to come to Him. Nature had stopped me from obtaining substance, melodies bring you closer, so much tangibility in their words. Fake. My affect immediately changed when I heard word of her coming through. My body won’t cry, it just rocks in sorrow. Moaning some things felt deep in the bones. Okay, rooted in my chest I love you, I love it. Thoughts, memories, fondling with the idea that maybe you shouldn’t hold any ugliness but gratitude for helping me feel something so beautiful. Real, in this body experiencing the fullness of human life I couldn’t have gone down this road without you. 

Caramel companion, honey nectar on your voice, yea I’d like to think about you positively perhaps joy towards you would bring my heart solace and peace. Scary how giddy my demeanor became when a little something came aboard the ship. The ones in the back know what I’m talking about, you can almost see it in the writing. No longer slumped around the house though thoughts of you persist but in good nature. Powering through chores got completed, can’t help but wonder if it was because of deliverance. Belting to melodies of material I hadn’t allowed to hug me in a moment. Soothing chapped membrane, breathy nature in their passion from the gut through the throat, luscious sounds warming my ears, singing. 

Woke up feeling lighter than usual. Blessed in this body, no worries on these shoulders, God is providing gratefulness overflowing. Let’s just sit and marvel at how good He is…not trying to pack it on and seem extra. Genuinely, He’s bringing opportunities and resources I’d not seen on the horizon. Loved, eternally taken care of as the perspective of the world is shifting. Destruction in worlds over in rainy seas, this place is not made for forever pleasantries with every ticking moment another self demolish button is hit. Goodness always present, thankfully this life is only temporary, passing away quickly. My bubble gets small sometimes having to recognize others are in the pot. I understand it could all be much worse and everyday I bow my head, grateful it isn’t worse and hopeful for those who are granted the worst. 

Joining new platforms I’m anticipating your entry. Recognition made difficult by the creators, a little drama is welcomed in my space for a short while as life is moving routinely. Sluggish in the mind words are becoming harder to formulate. Sometimes thinking if I should take a break from jotting, yet consistency rears its ugly head not wanting to lack discipline. Nervous to fall off I don’t want to seem as though I don’t care about my craft. I don’t want to let myself down by taking a break, I get anxious when routines shift. I tend to love the disturbance more than the regular. Been leaning towards things that don’t bring You glory. A little too focused on instant gratification my true drug is getting what I want when I want it.