herlucidlife

Word vomit, typing so quickly my fingers can barely keep up. I pray everyone finds a gift that flows so freely it’s a passion to simply create with no eyes at all. Thing about a gift is that it blesses both the consumer and creator. Even if no one knows about the special depth of my soul, I find a release in just simply being here. I can’t imagine life without this special present from God. I can’t imagine my brain without the word process constantly shelling out gems. I read the words and thought,  “mmm that’s good.” 

It’s important to enjoy your own work as if you are the consumer. Growing up I used to think “quiet” couldn’t live in the same body as expertise. I used to think I had to be loud to fully be productive in my gift. As a child only sharing my deepest thoughts with my mother, I was too shy to open my mouth around others. Growth was evident when I began sharing my thoughts in bible study, other believers confirmed that my interpretation of God’s word was correct. Mom taught me how to read the bible and understand it properly, it’s a God moment when a room full of people agree. 

Everyday I am saved by grace. Every hour I am a witness to the glory of God. Every minute I am a recipient of God’s help. Every moment is a miracle from God. One day from ninety days clean, three months of no substance in my system. In the past seven years the longest I’ve been abstinent was three weeks. I’m learning how to be a human who is not only financially and physically responsible but emotionally and spiritually mature. Knowing that I have a responsibility to take care of my needs and wants in a way that is appropriate is key. Understanding that reacting to temporary pain or pleasure with an action of permanence creates unbalance. I have full control over what I do and how I do it, today I act in God’s will. I ask before proceeding, I invite him into my life for sole direction and guidance. He always leads me to the right people, places and things. His presence is more than enough.

Jesus has led me into a place of healing. Into a place where surrender and grace resides. Into a space where self love and selfless love towards others are the joys of life. Life is looking bright, wide and open. Gratitude for this moment because I know one day the sky will turn dark with grief and Jesus will be by my side as He is right now. He and His earthy angels: N.A. friends, family and friends will be at my aid. I almost look forward to the lows because it shows the depths of God’s love. I hold dear the highs because I feel God smiling on my face, the Son shining within me.