herlucidlife

Most days are a rollercoaster of emotions. Crying and laughing are regular occurrences in one day. I never considered the emotions that would arise from leaving home. I assumed readiness meant I would be void of heavy feelings and the fact isn’t true. Every single day I have to remind myself of the goodness God is giving to me. Every season I have to remember the eternal covering He has over my life. Seeing numerous black and dark gray feathers as I step through the city over the days, it confirmed that I was walking in divine steps. It solidified that change has arrived and is coming. 

Specifically praying for what I need, trusting God knowing He sees every detail even the ones I don’t. His protection is a safety I can not explain but am understanding more and more with each day. I trust myself more now than I ever did, not because I’m so great but because I’ve experienced God’s power in me. Safe space is being created between me and God. Not only do I trust Him with the fragility of my emotions, I also trust myself. It’s enough to be seen, heard and understood within myself. 

No matter where I am or who I’m with it’s important to find home within myself at all times. God is my safe refuge, my body is the temple and the Holy Spirit inhabits my bones. Appreciation for my honey. Fixated on my hurt emotions, things that had nothing to do with him. Stuck in my head, inwardly projecting my confusion and fragility indirectly on someone that has only helped. Providing me a safe place to stay while I get on my feet. Constantly offering his help even when I don’t ask. Never leaving me hanging, grateful for him. God sent him at the correct time. 

Every single emotion that has clouded my mind, that has led me to pour my strangled heart on these pages has been a direct indicator of my growing faith in the midst of uncertainty, insecurity in a shifting phase of life, while internalizing the perfect goodness of being constantly connected to my Heavenly Father. I understand what it means to have perfect peace, eternal joy and the power of a grateful spirit. I have everything I need because of the people God has put in my life; supportive family, helpful boyfriend, and the power of stubbornness for God’s will in my soul. 

Thanksgiving in all things no matter what.