herlucidlife

kink

I’m honestly scared to let go of porn. I’m terrified to let go of that part of myself. When I first began recovery I did my best to surrender that as well. It’s always been there. What would life feel like to not have it? When I stopped using drugs life opened up brighter than I could’ve ever imagined. My mind became clearer, my emotions finally got the recognition they deserved and my spirit is seen and heard. Terrifying when the cycle of toxicity becomes comfortable out of habit. Light is around the corner yet sense it’s unfamiliar it is shunned rather than being embraced. 

Addiction is a mental disease. My brain does not function like those who do not have this disease. Thank God I’m not the only one. Sharing about my porn struggles with my NA family, they understand and empathize. Reading the information on the SA website, identification hit my heart. I’ve found another fellowship that knows exactly what I’m going through. I’ve found my second home. 

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  1. Samuel Beasley Avatar
    Samuel Beasley

    I have that struggle also. sometimes I think it’s more difficult for a single person. I used to think it was a male thing.but I’ve learned female struggle with it also. one of the reasons I hesitated to date your mother was because of my freaky nature. She always said don’t kiss me I don’t know where your lips been. 😂 I can hear her now. I thought that would make us unequally yoked thinking all my freaky needs wouldn’t be met. Would that cause be to me faithful. Praying keep me from looking at it so often. It’s not as in my younger days. In those days it drove me to be intimate with people I knew there were no future. And where I had to get a shot. 😝 Praying for you. Praying you meet the person the Lord has for you and you won’t have to deal with that.

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    1. herlucidlife Avatar
      herlucidlife

      thank you so much mr. beasley for sharing this!! i’ve not run into a lot of women that struggle with this either…i was definitely unfaithful in a lot of my relationships..thank you for praying for me, i need it lol i’ll be praying for you too!

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