herlucidlife

I’ve been constantly sitting on the reality of total obedience to God. Being a friend of God is conditional on obedience. We are all His creation but we are not all His children. Some are believers but not all are friends of God. My heart has been grieved about the lack of friendship God and I have. Looking back over my behavior, obedience was always something I threw out when it got too hard, or didn’t make sense, or didn’t fit the path that I wanted to take. I took God’s grace for granted because I always felt I had time to be obedient but really I was being arrogant. Thinking God would always be there for me. 

True friends know each other’s plans, thoughts, and ideas on everything and most of all they are included in each other’s lives all the way. I started thinking God has never asked what I thought about something like He did Moses. He has never included me on a plan before it happened. Not because God didn’t want to but because my lack of obedience showed I was not trustworthy. I couldn’t trust myself, hidden from my own eyes. God can see my full heart, He knew Moses would turn down comfort to be with God. God knew Abraham would behave committed and devoted to Him.

I could never say that completely about myself and God knows the evidence. Coming into this deeper understanding of the severity of obedience, it’s more than doing the right thing. It’s not forfeiting intimacy with God for other things, it’s choosing friendship with God over everything else at all times. It breaks my heart to say that this is an area of my life I’ve always been called to but never fully gave it my attention. Only receiving my attention when it was easy or when I was not dating, I was a fool. I accept and trust that believing is not intimacy with God. Obedience at all cost is true intimacy with God. 

Allowing the hard truth to sink into my heart. Finally my heart is opening up to the reality of being devoted to God. Taking years and years to get this lesson into my soul. I believe I will uphold obedience not because I’m so great but because I truly believe the holy fear God is establishing in me will not fail. It will carry my mind, body and soul into submission of God. Even as I type these words I am scared because it’s not in my strength but His. I only choose and believe me the choice can be hard when the situation and circumstance is sticky. I will do my best to choose God because all I have is a choice.