herlucidlife

Sitting at my laptop, looking at the keys. So much flooding my mind but nothing coming out. I pulled the topic of step 3 at my homegroup N.A. meeting tonight. “We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” Speaking energetically about the love God has bestowed on me and how that love has translated to a deeper love in myself. 

I couldn’t help but be grateful for the gentle way He speaks to me. Never abrasive, never hurtful. He is compassionate in His words, He whispers due to being so close. He doesn’t over explain. He simply gave all the direction needed for that moment. Trust. I have faith in His voice today. The beauty is He has always been so faithful in the development. I didn’t come out of the womb having faith in Him. 

I ran from God for so many years. I was more scared of people than of Him. I was so quick to put everything before God and leave Him on the back burner. I do my best to put Him first. Being first is more than reading the Bible in the morning, but it’s thinking of Him in my moment by moment thoughts. It’s how I relate to the world, He has changed my whole perspective. 

I no longer look at life and living as something that is physical, rather it’s a preparation for the after life. How I live with Christ on this side affects how I live with Christ on the other side. Step 3 really taught me the difference between the motive of my will and the motives for God’s will. Step 3 helped me look at myself with God by my side, then I was able to read the Bible and have a better perspective of God. 

I read the Bible and see human nature all throughout yet I had a hard time seeing myself in their nature. It wasn’t until I started working the steps that I was able to see so clearly the way I was going against God. This life of sanctification is an ongoing process. It’s messy because I’ve been living in the gray for so long. God is constantly separating the black and white, making me more holy every single day. He’s gentle because the process is hard enough. 

Nothing like being in the hands of God, safe and protected. Watching Designing Women on Hulu, listening to Julia sing “How Great Thou Art” I began getting teary eyed at the goodness I’ve experienced. The beauty is His goodness is eternal, it never runs out. Step 3 shows me how finite my will is and how infinite His will is. I can build my life on His firm foundation, but my life built on the foundation of my own ideas will crumble every time. 

So here’s to standing on the Rock, He is a firm foundation.