herlucidlife

Giddy, humming to myself at work. Laughing at my own jokes. The mind, body and spirit feel at ease. Nothing heavy on the mind, doing my best to not fester on things that really don’t matter.  Sharing at a meeting the emotions of grieving a friendship. Having made amends due to being bothered by how I chose to leave the friendship. Over text message left a bad taste in my mouth. That is not how I want to move through life, speaking with a friend then praying before acting. 

I’m holding myself accountable for the way I left, not for the actual leaving. I can move forward with integrity. Knowing that phone call or in person are the only ways to properly remove myself from any kind of relationship. Processing in the meeting, I could feel a further weight fall off. It’s okay to let go. Holding on does not help me move forward. I think about those that have come through my life. 

Friends, boyfriends, spouse, parents and family members. The only constant was God and I. Riding home listening to a new artist, feeling the urge to dance when I walked in the door. Pulling out my little speaker, gyrating around my small apartment. Getting low to the floor, dancing with my cat as she tried to playfully bite my hands. Working up a sweat, I was reminded that everything I thought I would never live through didn’t kill me at all. 

Dancing on the other side of each mountain. There were times when I thought I was never going to be different, never going to grow, never going to love myself. Yet here I stand firmly planted in the love of Jesus, breathing well. Body moving gracefully, mind working empathetically. Love expanding, gratitude for myself leading the way. I look to the God that calls me daughter, friend, the lover of my soul. I look at Him and think wow! How blessed that I get to dance in my little apartment all cares having been taken care of.

It’s true, He promised there would be “the other side” and here we stand.