I’ve been feeling some sadness about my lack of dating. Feeling as though I go into the online dating void or that there’s no options. I’ve been putting myself out there slightly and nothing has returned. A little impatient, my friend reminded me that God is working things out. All I can do is turn my focus to God. I’ve been too focused on a lack of a relationship lately. It snuck up on me out of nowhere. I was good and content.
Still sensing contentment, the emotions are a little different this time. There’s no gut wrenching pain, there’s a bit of sadness with the contentment I’ve been feeling. To be honest it’s hard for me to even fathom that there’s someone out there for me. The thought of someone loving me blows my mind, the idea is very odd to me. Have I been single for too long?
I think about sharing my space and simply making time for someone new and I’m not sure how to feel about it. When I think about my future there is no man involved, mainly because there’s no man here now. I keep hope alive, I do my best to stay optimistic, even though it can be disheartening. Matthew six verse thirty-two through thirty-four states that I should seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, it states that My Father in heaven already knows what I need before I speak it.
It comforts me to know that God knows what I need. He grants what I need when I need it. Perhaps I just don’t need that person right now. The only thing I know is that I’m too focused on it. My YouTube algorithm has changed so now half the things on my “for you” page is about finding the one and discerning if he’s for you or sent by God. I’ve allowed the whole thing to take my eyes off God.
I need to refocus, desperately.
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