herlucidlife

There are times when I feel like I have no clue what I’m doing. Then there are other times I feel I know exactly what needs to be done. Lately I’ve felt like I know what I need to do, all except for the area of dating.  

I usually feel more solid in other areas because they don’t have to factor in the decisions of someone else. Dating is largely at the hands of another. I can have my heart set yet if the other decides otherwise then nothing progresses and vice versa. 

My eggs are not all in with any person at the moment. I’ve stepped back from some, really doing my best to get an understanding of the full picture. I’m talking in circles. My emotions have gone cold for one young man. My emotions are questionable for another young man. Then comes a third young man out of the blue. We have plans for Saturday, I’m not sure they will happen. 

In the past this person had canceled plans and has failed to make plans. I always held the olive branch until I stopped caring about doing so. A couple years have gone by and I’m willing to give another chance, no longer willing to hold onto past experience. I’m not sure if it’ll happen, I stay realistically optimistic. 

I struggle with going through the friendship phase with a guy. How long should it last? Why is it difficult for me to stay in that phase? It feels uncomfortable and uncertain, it’s needed to build any foundation. I’m not sure what the point of this post is. What I’m trying to say is I’m figuring it out and doing my best to not hurt anyone in the process.