herlucidlife

2025

  • ex-husband

    Making the last few amends, I looked him up on Facebook. It’s been four years since…

  • lower and lower

    Sitting on the floor of my apartment, attempting to write amends to a young man from…

  • seeking rest

    I’ve been wondering about something lately. Moving all the time, not receiving enough rest partly due…

  • iam kept

    What a wonderful gift to see another birth year. It took me thirty-two years on this…

  • keep walking

    I received a rather unfavorable grade on my first paper for school. I believed I had…

  • readjust

    Classes have started. The emotions feel raw, felt but unnamed. It’s been a couple weeks since…

  • desperation

    The word “desperate” has been circling in my mind. Watching a YouTube video of a young…

  • correction

    It may not seem like it but I haven’t written a word in weeks. I’ve been…

  • a rut

    I’ve been making small changes in my life.Changing the way I wear my hair. Doing my…

  • needed

    Going to bed with what felt like the weight of the world on my shoulders. I…

  • i can

    It’s okay to let go. Letting go of drugs was a huge thing for me. The…

  • lie vs. truth

    The word “strict” was used when speaking of the change my diet needs. I’ve never been…

  • work

    Emotional eating is damaging my body. I kill myself in the gym to then eat like…

  • grimy living

    I need to write, to spill out my soul as though no one may read these…

  • dangerously distant

    For weeks I’ve been distant. Thoughts, cravings, ungodly things tucked under the skin. Obsession, compulsion and…

  • He met me

    I stayed in bed too long. My mind went into the trenches, a dark and lonely…

  • the otherside

    Exhausted physically and mentally. Checking out, binge watching television. Ignoring emotions and feelings. Vulnerable, stuck and…

  • lines and creases

    At work on break, watching a YouTube video. The young lady kept saying “to prevent aging”…

  • sit down

    Waking up, my body felt as though it had been run over. Finding my way to…

  • only begun

    I’ve been feeling compassion fatigue lately. I love typing for a living. The action is therapeutic.…

  • not today

    Been doing my best to stay away from websites that house sexual content. Some days are…

  • quite priceless

    When I began writing no one was reading my words. Five years ago, no one knew…

  • man could never

    Everytime I come to my laptop there’s a little weight I feel in my heart. The…

  • in His care

    Lived spelled backwards is devil. Another detail I noticed when doing a word search puzzle at…

  • good gifts

    Live spelled backwards is evil. Living in a way that is opposite of God is evil.…

  • every detail

    I’ve been putting myself out there. Getting to know new people at work, going to a…

  • a new way

    Arrogance and ego can lead to relapse. This topic has been in my head tough lately.…

  • refreshed

    The sun has kissed my skin, blood flowing strong through my veins. God’s grace flowing over…

  • work with it

    The theme today is connecting to myself. In active addiction I was so disconnected. When my…

  • the other side

    First John chapter four verse four states, “You are from God, little children, and you have…

  • screwing myself

    I threw my vibrator in the dumpster down stairs. The crazy part is I had thrown…

  • another layer

    Tossing my vibrator into the trash. Recommitting to the cause. Walking through Walmart at ten o’clock…

  • through the wilderness

    Speaking with my sponsor about some of the behaviors I’ve been acting on. It was brought…

  • not there yet

    I love when God shows me He sees, hears, and understands exactly what I need. All…

  • don’t compare

    All through the day I felt insecure about where my life is. Sometimes I feel as…

  • restless

    Is it an obsession when something will not leave one’s mind even down to dreams? James…

  • thoughts

    I’ve been writing more on the go. Sometimes looking to sit down at my laptop keeps…

  • no rush

    My mind keeps circling around. Walking out of work, slowly making my way to the car.…

  • disease

    For some certain sins don’t seem as bad. To God all sin is measured with the…

  • tug of war

    Belly full of ice cream, teeth feeling gritty from the sugar stuck on the enamel. Sitting…

  • bed sheets

    I fell. I let my flesh, the urges inside win. Shared about it in a N.A.…

  • honesty

    Honesty. Since coming into recovery, I’ve done my best to be honest. Being honest with myself…

  • perspective

    The posts are scheduled out yet the reader would never know it’s been almost a month…

  • gracefully broken

    There are times in my life where I feel super in tune with God’s will and…

  • familiar spirits

    Yearning for inclusion and acceptance has allowed me to hold spaces that aren’t healthy for me.…

  • getting cleaner

    As God cleans my side of the street. I’ve lived with filth for so long I…

  • hidden

    Tucked away in the ZenDen at work. I felt God knocking on my heart. I love…

  • baggage claim

    There have been times in my life when I don’t think I can go on. Beaten…

  • alignment

    I often look at how the details are going to line up when considering surrender, not…

  • pathways

    I’ve been looking into the career path I obtained my degrees in. Needing additional schooling is…